For the love of all that is holy, what is this madness!?
The first day of spring semester started today for my 17-yo high school junior.
During what should've been her second period, I walk out of my office to her sitting on the couch watching cartoons, laptop next to her...but not on.
I would like to say I was surprised, but I wasn't. This so-called "online school" crap has been....well, crap. Crap literally dumped into the laps of parents (me) who are left scratching their heads about how to convince a 17 year old that school online is actually school and can be counted against them if not done.
Initially, when all Covid-19 hell broke loose last spring and all child-rearing adults were flung into virtual learning, I have to admit that I was giddy (and, admittedly, a bit smug) that I was no longer the mother of a toddler or even an elementary-schooler. I thought, Yay! My daughter is16! Surely old enough to navigate the world of e-learning on her own!? And then promptly went on living my life.
I could not have been more wrong.
I was considered an "essential worker" and so was strapped to a desk in an office from 8 to 5 every day, with a 40 minute commute each way (I'm not complaining - I am grateful I had a job!) But, the owners of the firm had no compassion or sympathy for the fact that everyone in our office was struggling with this new reality and trying to balance how they were going to work and keep eyes on their children while not in school.
By the time I learned my daughter was failing 90% of her classes, the damage had been done. No amount of extra credit or Edible Arrangements to teachers was going to fix it. My daughter was very, very good about pulling the wool over my eyes and I was very, very good at believing the lies that she told me because I wanted to believe they were true and that I had raised a responsible little angel.
The truth was she was struggling big time. Struggling with motivation, concentration, missing her friends, depression, being confined to the house...on and on and on. And because I was away from the home (and so was my husband who is in hospitality) for roughly 10 hours a day, I was mostly oblivious to her plight.
The fall 2020 semester wasn't any better. In fact, it was worse (hardly seems possible, but she did leave that last 10% from spring up for grabs!) She didn't pass a single class with a C or better.
Numerous emails to the school principal, registrars office, teachers, counselors and social workers were written. Pleas for credit taken away by chronic absenteeism due to anxiety and depression were begged. The result? She will have to take summer school to make up for credit in two classes required to graduate. Heaven help us if it is virtual summer school. And lord have mercy! There is still no end in sight to virtual learning for the regular school year, so who knows how many she'll have to make up when it's all said and done.
Do I expect a different outcome for this spring 2021 semester? Well, no.
Why? Because schools aren't doing anything fundamentally differently than they did last spring or fall.
Isn't doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result the definition of insanity?
Providing laptops and expecting kids to sit down in front of them for 7 hours a day was, and still is, unrealistic and ridiculous. And, come March, we'll have been doing it for a year. Still expecting our kids to get A's and sit through a virtual class while their younger siblings run around the house and fight and Netflix temptation is real. Seriously, WTF.
The comments that I heard from kids on my daughters Zoom classes today made me realize that it's not just the teachers and parents feeling the pinch (actual comments that the teacher read aloud):
"Remote learning is pointless."
"We don't have to follow your rules. You won't know if we do anyway."
"I don't do remote learning, #sorrynotsorry."
These are cries for help. These aren't just petulant teenagers (well, maybe some are) who want to bitch and moan. They are telling adults they are not learning and do not see value in being forced to stay in a situation that causes them emotional pain and deep anxiety.
Is that not the VERY definition of abuse? Good. Okay. So now, not only is what we are doing INSANE, it is also ABUSIVE.
But, Jess, you ask, what can be done?
My suggestion? District provided mentors. Tutors. Some sort of 1:1 accountability that is not left solely up to the parents. Add staff to schools that pairs kids with 1:1 adult support - no, not like a course instructor (teacher) or a counselor - but instead, someone who checks in with your kid DAILY by phone, maybe even multiple times a day via chat, to discuss how they're are feeling, address any learning gap concerns and communicates these issues to the teachers on the student's behalf (because, let's face it, students will often not advocate on their own behalf) and in general, gives your kid the sense that someone CARES (besides you of course) about whether they succeed in school or not.
Also, someone who will tell them when they are seriously fucking up because, let's face it. kids just think parents are being dramatic when we say it.
This approach is already done by certain higher education institutions so why not by K-12 school districts? Truly, this cannot wait if we intend to stymie the profuse hemorrhaging of learning opportunities.
You know that saying, 'If it's important enough, you'll make it a priority"? Well, there you go.
My hope is that if you weren't already fired up about the state of "virtual learning" in our country, you are now. And if you are comfortable, give me your thoughts below.
Jess
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